Glad you can add. However, you got the total wrong—it should be “1 myth”.
Actually, he thinks your tattoos make you look like a redneck douchebag. If you REALLY cared, you’d get a crown of thorns tattoo to show your devotion!
Jesus wants to be friends on Facebook? Fuck that! I just know he’ll be spamming my wall with pictures of himself up on that cross, and then he’ll start asking for money since he never seems to have enough. And I really don’t need him commenting on every sinful act I feel like sharing on there. God, how annoying.
Archangel Michael defeats Satan on this “spiritual warfare” laptop sleeve case. Wow, how exciting! Does this give you automatic heavenly virus protection too? Does Michael swoop in and delete malware if you pray enough? (That would be kind of awesome, actually.)
This shirt proclaims Jesus as the “True Avenger”, presumably because he’ll swoop in and save you from peril. And what are the chances of that? Exactly the same as a comic book character magically appearing. So I guess I’m OK with this shirt after all.
Apparently church business cards are a big thing now, so you can do that all-important networking (advertising) when you’re out snatching souls for Christ. How awesomely tacky! I love the one that looks like a performance ticket. And that’s what church services really are: just a big song and dance with a steep psychological service charge.
“Why thank you ever so much for your church business card—I’ll put it in my wallet and give you a call at the first sign of spiritual turmoil!” said no one, ever.
Oh, how precious: a Bible case for your iPhone. I can see some moron thinking this is the coolest thing evarrrr—like those retards who sweep over college campuses (campii?) trying to bring other retards into the Strong, Manly Arms of Jesus. It may also be popular with Apple fanboys who literally worship everything the company poops out. (I have an iPhone and really like it, but come on—there are better things worthy of your worship. Like vodka.)
Look, it’s Jesus’ nutritional info! Now, is this for his actual flesh or just his wafer form? Personally I think this label is misleading—it doesn’t reflect the true amount of empty calories and non-nutritional (nonexistent) content.
